i'm not even sure where to start...or who will even read this. life.
thats a massive word: life. its everything. and you only get one of them. normally there is an order to it:
birth
kindergarten
elementary school
highschool
college
job
spouse
house
kids
work
retire
die
you are completely out of the norm if you skip even one of these steps. or dare to try and rearrange them. but i say that not every "step" of life is for everyone.
myself for instance. i honestly believe that college is not a step for me. i don't know why i just do. i went for exactly HALF a semester back in fall of 2009 and hated it. i became a completely different person, both spiritually and personality wise. yes, i know college is a good step. it helps you get "farther" in life. you can get better jobs so you can buy the three bedroom house for your wife, 2.5 kids, and your dog. and that is completely fine if thats whats in store for you. i just don't feel thats the path for me.
and trying to deviate from the college step is the hardest thing in the world to do. my parents are wonderful. as long as i am doing what God wants me to do, they support me. other family members and people that know me, don't really get it. their minds are so ingrained with what the world says is proper to do that they are blinded to what i feel is really living.
i don't really want a three bedroom house, a wife, and 2.5 kids. sure, it would be nice, but its not something i strive for.
i feel that God has called me to help people. yes i want to spread his word, but even then I feel i am supposed to help them in any way possible. and i am going to actively start pursuing that path in my life.
here lately i know i have not been the christian influence i need to be. i was running from everything God has in store for me because i was scared. and comfortable. I had two jobs that paid for everything. I didn't really have to worry about anything except for getting my car payment paid in time. and it was nice. but empty and lonely. because i was not where i was supposed to be. i was not close to a lot of my friends that are. i was becoming friends with people that where not anywhere near God. and it affected me. that life became a poison. it was toxic and i was getting sick.
so. as of today i am making some drastic changes in my life. i am quitting one of my jobs. and i am deciding not to go to college. i am deciding to apply to as many mission programs as possible in the hopes of getting in one.
in short today i am starting: life.
